Lovin Friday & The Importance Of Great Sex

Today readers, Emily Bryan is here to tell us about ~ The Importance of Great Sex (nudge, nudge, wink wink).

There is a certain mystique to being a romance writer. When I tell people I write historical romance, they cast me a sidelong glance and I know what they’re thinking.

“She knows more about having sex than the average girl on the block.”

My DH has encountered this assumption as well when he accompanies me to writing conferences. Once a reader who was familiar with my books gave him a long, slow once-over and said, “You must really be something.”

The naughty boy smiled and said, “Thank you, ma’am. I am!”

(Ok, in the interest of full disclosure, I have to admit he’s right!) But the point is, the love scenes in my books are not just about having great sex.

I hear a big “Huh?”

It’s true. I am passionately addicted to telling a good story. To accomplish that, every scene in my book has to perform important functions. They must:
1. Advance the story forward in a compelling manner.
2. Deepen the characters and/or their relationship.
3. Hopefully all at the same time!

So if a sex scene doesn’t perform one or more of these tasks, I have to cut it. If the scene could be replaced with the words, “Then they had sex.” And then there is no change in how the story proceeds because of the sex, then the scene is filler. I had an interesting discussion with a horror writer about gratuitous gore, which is that genre’s sex scene. He felt the same way about what he called “gorn” (gore porn). The gore, like a sex scene, has to serve a higher storytelling purpose.

When I write a sensual encounter for my characters, I want them to be different for having had the experience. I want it to change how they feel about themselves and each other. I want it to MATTER. Sex without context is pornography. Sex with meaning is one of the deepest expressions of what it is to be human.

Sex is a powderkeg of emotions and sensations. It encapsulates themes of redemption, betrayal, acceptance and rejection. It’s the closest we can be to another person since we left our mother’s womb. How could I not write about it?

I want my readers (and my characters!) to have a good time. I also want it to mean something.

After sharing this, I’ll be interested to see which of my lovescenes, the Royal Court decides to post!

Thanks Emily. After much 'research', fanning, cool showers and a great deal of thought I've decided to share two scenes between Gabriel & Jacquelyn from Pleasuring the Pirate. Not because these scenes are the 'hottest' but because for me, they encompass what it means to love ~ a willingness to put your needs and desires aside for another.

Spent and gasping, they clung to each other. She kissed his sweat-dampened temple, savoring the saltiness of his skin. Her covered her mouth with his in a soft kiss. A kiss that said she had given him a gift and he was grateful.

As he laid his head beside hers on the pillow, still joined, unwilling to sever their connection until it was absolutely necessary, she realized he'd gifted her as well. The giving and receiving of pleasure was a paradox, the most selfish and selfless thing she'd ever done. The more she gave, the more she received.

"You are Lord of Dragon Caern" she said softly. "Nobility has its privileges, but it also comes with duties. It is your obligation to care for these people."
... "Remember whom you're talking to, mistress." He turned his head and pressed a soft kiss into her palm. "A pirate has no rule but his own wishes."

"You are no longer a pirate," she said, willing it to be true.

"And neither am I a lord by any measure but name," he said. "Not yet."

"But you will be," she said with assurance.

Gabriel tipped her face toward him and she thought he was going to kiss her. Instead he just looked at her as if he were trying to burn her features into his mind.

"Do you ever tire of being right all the time?" he finally said.

"Frequently," she admitted. "But only since I met you."

He lowered his mouth to hers in a kiss of bittersweet regret. It wasn't the flame of passion they'd shared in the night, but the connection between them in the gentle brush of their lips was even more real. When he pulled back, she blinked back the tears that threatened to salt her cheeks.

You can find out more about Pleasuring the Pirate on Emily's website - http://www.emilybryan.com/

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