Review: The Inner Self: The joy of discovering who we really are

Title: The Inner Self: The joy of discovering who we really are

Author: Hugh Mackay

Publisher: 11th August 2020 by Pan Macmillan Australia

Pages: 320 pages

How I Read It: ARC book

Genre: nonfiction, self help

My Rating: 4.5 crowns

Synopsis:

The Inner Self is a book about the ways we hide from the truth about ourselves and the psychological freedom we enjoy when we finally face that most searching question of all: 'Who am I, really?'

Hugh Mackay explores our 'top 20' hiding places - from addiction to materialism, nostalgia to victimhood. He explains how it is our fear of love's demands that drive us into hiding.

He argues that love is our highest ideal, the richest source of life's meaning and purpose, and the key to our emotional security, personal serenity and confidence.

Yet Mackay exposes the great paradox of human nature, that while love brings out our best, we don't always want our best brought forward.

Powerfully written and drawing on a lifetime of research, The Inner Self is a work of extraordinary insight by one of Australia's most respected psychologists.

My Thoughts

‘Happiness seems such a natural goal of life; a no-brainer. Shouldn’t we all try to maximise our happiness? ‘

I first read a Hugh MacKay book in the 1990s and it has stayed with me over these many years. So I was thrilled to take a look into his new book, The Inner Self: The joy of discovering who we really are. Hugh is one of Australia’s most well respected social psychologists and bestselling authors. In this volume he takes all his years of social research to highlight how we are ‘hiding’ from our real self.

‘Spending too long in hiding increases the risk that we will live a half-life of inauthenticity, never reaching our full potential, and wondering why we feel permanently unsatisfied.’

Hugh delivers a rich explanation of how in presenting what is essentially our socially constructed identity, we hide from our real self. It is a fascinating investigation into the contrast between our inner self versus our social self. The masks we all put on to face everything from our fears to our everyday obligations.

‘Think of all those things as masks we wear – the faces we need to put on to play our various roles. If you’re a partner and a parent, then you know that you must act differently in those different roles. But you’re still you.’

Hugh presents research on what he considers to be our ‘Top 20’ hiding places including things such as addictions, busyness, social media and materialism just to name a few. What he wants his readers to question is, ‘Who am I?’  If you feel that how you are perceived is not the real you, then he hopes that this book will help shed some light on the discrepancy - an insight into the problems associated with pretending to be someone you are not. 

‘Almost always, the sense of a gap between who I am and who I want to be is a response to an opening up of our inner sense of self.’

Hugh wants his readers to appreciate the great relief to be had from reaching an understanding that there is real freedom to be gained from coming out of these hiding places and unveiling your authentic self. Many will appreciate that we need to listen more to our inner voice and less to the image we more often than not project to the world. Live the life we all really want, moving away from the life we are currently hiding behind. 

‘Nature has its seasons, and so does every life. To be attentive and responsive to them all is healthier than to yearn for one rather than another.’

This book is easy to read with little jargon and loads of real life examples for people to relate to. After all these years and all the many books Hugh has written in between, I am happy to have reflected upon some real gems of advice that are to be found within these pages. 

‘Wouldn’t you rather confront the things you don’t like about yourself, or that don’t ring true for you, and do some work on them? The alternative is to live in a permanently defensive state of mind.’

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This review is based on a complimentary copy from the publisher in exchange for an honest review. The quoted material may have changed in the final release.